It is pretty obvious by now that I did not know what I was doing when I decided to start this blog. Truth is I almost never know what I am doing, but this time I was really clueless. I should have written about so many things already, and all I have is a combination of silly thoughts in the form of 4 entries. Well my friends, it is what it is, that´s me, I start things and most times I do not follow them through. This time though, I came back, so I guess that means something. Truth is, I have not been inspired lately. For a while life seemed like a monotonous combination of day to day acts, with no particularly special events or experiences worth talking about. We all go through that more times that we would like. But the good news is this doesn’t last forever, something always happens, and once again, everything changes.
Yes, I met someone, and I am not afraid to talk about it. Sometimes people come into your life in the right moment. I do not want to talk about the word “fate” because I do not fully comprehend what lies behind the idea that everything is set to happen in a certain way, but I do believe that everything happens for a reason. And this person happened when I needed it most. I am willing to talk about this here because I said I was going to get it all out in this thing (that and the fact that I know for sure he will not read this). In a place where men feel comfortable enough to come up to you and say “wanna go fuck?” without even knowing your name, this guy was a breath of fresh air. Let me begin by saying that I do not know what it is yet, where we stand, or what is going to happen, I honestly do not care. All I know is that he made me care in a moment when everything seemed unattractive, unappealing and boring. I believe that’s the beauty of life, waking up when you are sleep walking through the streets of randomness and oblivion. It is quite sad that sometimes we need a person to wake us up when we should be able to do it by ourselves, but every once in a while, we get a little help and it comes in many forms. Mine has green eyes and has an overwhelming and incomprehensible ability to put up with me and my never ending whining about the world, most importantly, he actually finds it adorable, which makes me believe he is insane, but who cares, so am I.
I did want to share this with everyone, because someone once told me: “When you are happy and you share it you feel double the happiness, and when you are sad and you share it you are only half sad”, this rings so true. In a world where you never know what’s going to happen, you need to enjoy every second, every moment, and for me, enjoying it also means sharing it by writing, because even though it might not seem like it, and even thought I am sure I suck at it, I love writing. So yes, I’m not always bitter and complaining about how awful life is, sometimes, like now, I feel grateful for the days, the hours, or maybe even the minutes that make it all worthwhile.
So I just wanted to send a little bit of a good vibe out there. But hey, do not get me wrong, it’s not all good news. This “help” that I got in my times of sorrow lives far away, so right now I am dealing with the whole long distance thing, and when u think about the fact that I have sort of a psycho-paranoid personality, you realize this is not an easy endeavor. If any of my ex-boyfriends are reading this now they are probably either laughing or remembering with fear because they know what I´m talking about, when I cannot control a situation I tend to get a little crazy. So I guess I have to deal with that, and see how everything unfolds, but that’s what´s amazing about it, you just never know.
G
