Ok so this is my first blog entry… It took my almost one month to come up with the name of this thing, and when I finally did, I ended up hating it, so this one is a trial name. Now it’s taking me an equal amount of time to figure out the topic for this first one. The whole thing makes me think I probably wasn’t ready to do this, but then again, I’ve never felt ready to do anything and things that I was not ready for have turned into amazing experiences, so maybe this is one of those times… or not… we´ll see. Just bear in mind that i have NEVER done anything like this, so this is totally under construction.
Given that right now I have no idea what to talk about, I figured I might as well write and maybe, this will start taking some sort of form. You know, like when you look at clouds and they have no shape but if you stare long enough you will finally see something? I guess that’s kinda what I’m going for right now. Feel free to sign off as soon as you feel like you have stared too long. Am I rambling? I probably am, by now I probably lost some readers too. Ok! Let’s try this again.
I might not have a topic but I promise I have a purpose. What I want to do with this blog is basically vent. I want to let it all out. The things I see, how I see them, what I feel about them. Little things that sometimes baffle me, and big events that I don´t care about. I also feel like this will be a way for me to reach out. You see, the thing is, I think I’m crazy. Sometimes I feel quite strongly about whatever topic, and then I realize I’m the only one who feels like this about this particular issue. Most times I feel like I’m sure I’m right, and people see me like I’m this person from another planet. So here, I would like to put that to the test. I have the best friends in the world, but for some reason they love contradicting me, thus, making me think that my opinions are pretty much out there. Have you ever sat in a corner with a big predicament in your head, crying or being quite worried, and suddenly asked God for a sign so you can know what to do? Well that happens to me a lot too. I must admit havent gotten any concrete answers (I do believe i have been sent subliminal messages but sometimes I’m too dumb to figure them out). I would be forever in your debt (and believe me I am already in your debt for having read this long) if while I use this tool to speak my mind, I end up figuring out that im not that insane or that I am indeed a disturbed person who needs help. That would be great, cause then I would know for sure. It is amazing what you can do when you stop to listen to other people`s thoughts and opinions. I feel like sometimes we are so full of our own feelings, resentments, subjectivities, that we fail to reach the depths, or even the simplicity of that which affects us.
Ok so there! I HAVE A PURPOSE! Wow, this is HUGE! A little step towards something I have yet to figure out. Wow, I think I have written a lot and I didn’t talk about anything. Ok that’s not true, I did expose my intentions when it comes to this blog that I don’t want to call blog cause I don’t like that word. It sounds like bug, and I hate bugs. So I think I am going to call it something else, like my outbox, or my venting devise, or my journal. No, not journal, journal sounds like I’m 12. Oh how I wish I was 12 again… I digress… I will keep thinking about a name, but for now I´m signing off. I came back to Barcelona today (that’s where I live… someday I will write about why im here, i still do not know the answer) and it was a terrible, tiresome, long, long flight, so I should get some sleep. I think tomorrow I will talk about people who sit beside you in planes, how you always expect it to be your dream person, and how it will irrevocably be quite the opposite of what you were expecting. Life is interesting like that, and it has an endless ability to surprise you.
Hope you enjoyed these first words, or at least I hope you didn’t fall asleep, or if you did fall asleep I hope you had nice dreams. Till next time…
G…
