It seems it was only yesterday when I was packing all my things and getting ready to change my life completely. A year and a half has passed since I came to Spain. It really is amazing how time flies, it does, and it goes by in a blink as they say. I think it goes faster as we get older. As I write this I am thinking about a train, an unstoppable train, and when you look at the window you can see the most wonderful things, amazing views, magic all around, life. But sometimes we fall asleep in the train, or it goes so fast that there is an unavoidable feeling of having missed something along the way. I hope I haven’t missed much, I have tried to be awake, and what I have seen is beautiful beyond words (I have seen ugliness too, but I think that it lets you appreciate better the beauty of the rest).
Well my train is taking a new turn, and so it is time to once again say goodbye to all that has been familiar to me during my time in this country that fought its way into my heart. I say “fought” because it was not love at first sight. Coming from so far away it was hard for me to adapt, I had some dark moments, moments when my mind won battles making me believe I did not belong, but that was all it was, negative thoughts I kept reinforcing until I realized that the discomfort was coming from inside not from outside. I have learned so much here, seen so much, and met so many wonderful people. And just as I was starting to feel “at home” I have to go again. And that is life, it keeps happening, it keeps moving, it keeps changing. It breaks my heart, especially for the people I leave behind. But then again, I get to see those who I said goodbye to when I came here.
One of my great friends here gave me a beautiful present; a huge framed collage of pictures of my favorite people in the world, family, friends, and other things than mean something to me. These are the kind of presents I value the most, memories put together, happy moments that make my passing in this world worthwhile. I am looking at it right this moment, hanging on my bedroom wall, and as I see it I realize how lucky I am, how lucky I have always been. And I just feel like finally sharing happy thoughts for a change.
In the collage I see the regular suspects, the people that have been with me since I was born: my family. I see my mom and dad who are the very definition of unconditional love, their undying support of my many endeavors is nothing but living proof that there is such a thing as unlimited faith, for some reason they believe in me and that sole fact should make me smile everyday for the rest of my life.
Then I see my late grandparents, who I am sure are watching over me, and all I can do is pray to God that somehow I have managed to make them proud. I wish they could read this, and if by some magical force or divine intervention they are, I want to say: I MISS YOU EVERYDAY.
Then there is my brother who I adore so much, with his bright eyes and relaxed smile that makes me wish really hard that I could go back to when we were kids and everything was easier; but no matter how complicated life turned out to be, whenever I am with him it’s like I am a kid again, and since I know for a fact that he is reading this I want to say THANK YOU! With you in my life I know I will feel young forever (nevermind my almost 30 crisis).
Looking further I see my old friends, the ones that I have had for years and years, the ones that should definitely get medals for putting up with me for so long. I mean with parents it is different, they love you because you are theirs, it’s a bond that`s beyond anything else, is like they HAVE to love you no matter what, but friends, they do not have to do anything, they get to choose, they decide if someone else is worth sticking around for, and for some reason my friends decided I was worth it, and man have they stuck around. Through the good, the bad, the awful and the unspeakable my friends have been there with me, for me, and sometimes, when it was much needed, against me. I give a shout out to friends all around, to people doing things for other people, to helping, to being there, I mean, even if you have been there for one person, even if one person has been there for you, you are lucky. It is my strongest wish to have made at least a little bit of a difference in the life of these people who have most certainly made a HUGE difference in mine.
And finally, I see the people I have met during my stay in Spain. The super amazing people that made this year and a half an unforgettable one. I say unforgettable mostly because I know that from this experience what I take with me are friends for life, memories of endless laughter, (sometimes endless drinking), and most definitely reasons to come back.
So as I say Goodbye, or see you soon, to all that has been dear to me during my time here I have to say that all in all I feel lucky to have this thing hanging on my wall. I am lucky to have had the chance to spend this time here. I am lucky that I get to go back to what I’m going back to. I’m lucky because I have the chance to keep looking on the window, in this train ride, and I cannot wait to see the views that await me, hoping of course to keep my dear ones close enough and that I manage to stay awake for it all.
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